Strong Talk
- By Marci Jones Macaluso
- •
- 21 Apr, 2017
- •
Professional Conversation Coaching for Young Women
Should young women work to improve their professional conversation skills?
Let’s take a page out of real life to explain, maybe your real life. You’re 21; you’ve graduated from college and are ready to pursue your career path. It could be any profession – finance, computer science, engineering, theater. Anything in which you will need to present yourself as a confident, self-assured professional. You might be an actor who finally got an interview with the casting director for a Netflix series. Or….you are a Software engineer and you’re at a networking event making a long sought after contact with someone from Google. You get the picture. This conversation is different from any other because the outcome could change your life. You must come across as a credible, adult professional with special qualities and value.
Far too often, young women exhibit behaviors that prevent success in professional conversations. Do any of these sound familiar?:
Sometimes subtle, but not always, Women, are prone to a number of speech behaviors that convey weakness and immaturity. Let’s call this phenomenon “little girl talk.” Hard to believe? Let me list them for you:
How Conversation Coaching improves your odds
It starts with a “conversation practice partner,” which is where I come in. We initiate our sessions with whatever professional conversation is looming in your future, whether it is a job interview, oral presentation or dinner with the boss to discuss your future prospects. We set up the scenario and then video record you in a “real-life” professional conversation. You will be astonished at how easy it will be to recognize the language and behaviors that undermine your effectiveness as a professional. Our session will be spent analyzing and practicing how to improve your professional self. This is not a “cook book” approach. Every person I work with brings a different set of conversation “don’ts”.
In just one session you will learn where you shine and what needs improvement in order to present your best professional self. This work is an exciting process of self-discovery. It’s not easy and you need to have a commitment to change some bad habits that are standing in your way. In the end, the confidence you will bring to professional conversations will make you the person who gets noticed.
Let’s take a page out of real life to explain, maybe your real life. You’re 21; you’ve graduated from college and are ready to pursue your career path. It could be any profession – finance, computer science, engineering, theater. Anything in which you will need to present yourself as a confident, self-assured professional. You might be an actor who finally got an interview with the casting director for a Netflix series. Or….you are a Software engineer and you’re at a networking event making a long sought after contact with someone from Google. You get the picture. This conversation is different from any other because the outcome could change your life. You must come across as a credible, adult professional with special qualities and value.
Far too often, young women exhibit behaviors that prevent success in professional conversations. Do any of these sound familiar?:
- Anxiety that results in negative physical and/or verbal behaviors (body language etc.).
- Anticipating what you’re going to say next rather than being thoughtful in your responses.
- Speaking too rapidly or too much.
Sometimes subtle, but not always, Women, are prone to a number of speech behaviors that convey weakness and immaturity. Let’s call this phenomenon “little girl talk.” Hard to believe? Let me list them for you:
- Inserting mindless, habitual words in sentences such as “like,” “you know,” “totally,” “umm” or whatever the trendy mindless word is at the moment. This is often referred to as “dumbing down” your conversational language. It may be fine with friends and family but it works against you in a professional situation.
- Ending every sentence with an upward glide even though it’s not a question. You cannot achieve credibility with your listener if your statements sound like questions. It can be a killer when attempting to communicate with confidence and authority.
- Speaking in a hushed voice rather than speaking with energy and conviction.
- Falling into the “I’m sorry” trap. It’s a common behavior for women to be apologetic just for expressing an opposing point of view or for entering a room. Our advice: just never say it unless you’ve done something wrong, which shouldn’t be that often.
How Conversation Coaching improves your odds
It starts with a “conversation practice partner,” which is where I come in. We initiate our sessions with whatever professional conversation is looming in your future, whether it is a job interview, oral presentation or dinner with the boss to discuss your future prospects. We set up the scenario and then video record you in a “real-life” professional conversation. You will be astonished at how easy it will be to recognize the language and behaviors that undermine your effectiveness as a professional. Our session will be spent analyzing and practicing how to improve your professional self. This is not a “cook book” approach. Every person I work with brings a different set of conversation “don’ts”.
In just one session you will learn where you shine and what needs improvement in order to present your best professional self. This work is an exciting process of self-discovery. It’s not easy and you need to have a commitment to change some bad habits that are standing in your way. In the end, the confidence you will bring to professional conversations will make you the person who gets noticed.
I’ve been thinking about this word lately in relation to what it is
I do in my Presentation Skills Coaching. I realized that no
matter what aspect of human behavior I’m working on with my
client, the desired end result is for them to convey authority
when they’re in professional conversations.
So what does look like when a person is able to be authoritative
in their demeanor?
That person is able to assure the listener that they are an
expert in what they’re talking about by appearing calm and in
control.
You, the listener, believe what they’re saying because of how
they’re able convey the information.
There is a certain “likability” in the way they present
themselves that implies humor and a willingness to be open
and friendly. No matter what your level of expertise, you lose
your effectiveness the moment you indicate arrogance. At the
same time, it is crucial to appear confident in your professional
conversations.
The more I do this work the more I understand that it requires a
certain “state of mind”. If I can help a client relax and trust
themselves, they can achieve a way to be in the moment of the
conversation or presentation. By that I mean that they are able
to focus on the immediate instead of anticipating the end. So
many of my clients dread their professional conversations
because they feel insecure and nervous. They are not able to
speak with authority because they are sabotaging themselves
by wishing it were over!
The reason I love doing this work is that there is always a
moment in the coaching process when my client begins to
understand that it’s more about how they’re thinking than
what they’re doing. Understanding that simple but challenging
concept is the bridge to achieving the kind of authority you will
need in your professional success.
I do in my Presentation Skills Coaching. I realized that no
matter what aspect of human behavior I’m working on with my
client, the desired end result is for them to convey authority
when they’re in professional conversations.
So what does look like when a person is able to be authoritative
in their demeanor?
That person is able to assure the listener that they are an
expert in what they’re talking about by appearing calm and in
control.
You, the listener, believe what they’re saying because of how
they’re able convey the information.
There is a certain “likability” in the way they present
themselves that implies humor and a willingness to be open
and friendly. No matter what your level of expertise, you lose
your effectiveness the moment you indicate arrogance. At the
same time, it is crucial to appear confident in your professional
conversations.
The more I do this work the more I understand that it requires a
certain “state of mind”. If I can help a client relax and trust
themselves, they can achieve a way to be in the moment of the
conversation or presentation. By that I mean that they are able
to focus on the immediate instead of anticipating the end. So
many of my clients dread their professional conversations
because they feel insecure and nervous. They are not able to
speak with authority because they are sabotaging themselves
by wishing it were over!
The reason I love doing this work is that there is always a
moment in the coaching process when my client begins to
understand that it’s more about how they’re thinking than
what they’re doing. Understanding that simple but challenging
concept is the bridge to achieving the kind of authority you will
need in your professional success.
The business professionals that take my accent reduction sessions all have one thing in common-they lack confidence most of the time when speaking English. They come to my sessions so that they can speak more clearly and effectively when talking to clients, fellow employees and bosses. They are embarrassed and frustrated when they are constantly interrupted with someone saying "What did you say?" over and over again. Being understood in the work place is so important to business professionals. It can make or break a very important business conversation.
Now, let me throw a wrench into the equation. What if you are a business professional who needs to talk on the phone a few times a day or even all day long? Did you know that speaking English face to face is a visual thing as well as a hearing thing? If you're doing a /d/ sound in a word when you should be doing a /TH/ sound the American might understand what you're trying to say when you're standing right in front of them, but over the phone there is no way of having the visual help. Phone conversations can be so much more challenging for the person listening. Many telemarketers have this problem. Well, actually, the person listening on the other end has the problem if they can't understand what the telemarketer is trying to sell them. I tell all of my students- by taking accent reduction classes you are helping yourself become more clearly understood. You are also helping the American who is listening to you -or even another international person who speaks English- to understand you completely. When you know you are being clearly understood you feel more confident! I have seen many of my students stand up taller and carry themselves better knowing they have done what they need to do to become even more successful in their career choices with the help of my accent reduction sessions.
THE PHONE TEST:
After I work with my students on reshaping their sounds to sound more American, I introduce the "phone test". One of the last sessions we do together is actually done over the phone instead of meeting at my office. They talk to me the way they would talk to a client or boss and I listen to hear how much of their phone conversation I can understand. If they are running words together or not saying one of their re-shaped sounds correctly I can help them right then and there. It is a very effective way to keep my students on their toes for those important business phone conversations. I have found the phone test to be an incredible tool!
There are many things a business professional must do to be good at his or her job. First, if you are lucky or smart or both, you have gotten a superb education in the field you have chosen. Next, you need to dress the part for internships and job interviews. Then, if you know what you're talking about - you get hired. Some of my grad students, who take sessions with me, begin their accent reduction classes before they've gotten a job. They know that they need to be more clearly understood BEFORE they even step into someone's office for an interview. Each one of us has obstacles to overcome. To be the best teacher I can be I am always striving to find new ways to help my students reshape American sounds and have fun in the process! If I walked into my office wearing ripped jeans and a t-shirt you would probably think I was a slob and maybe not good at my job. You can know everything there is to know about being a financial advisor or publishing text books or being the next great scientist or doctor, but if people can't understand what you're saying, how far can you go in your chosen profession? You might as well be wearing ripped jeans and a t-shirt!
Now, let me throw a wrench into the equation. What if you are a business professional who needs to talk on the phone a few times a day or even all day long? Did you know that speaking English face to face is a visual thing as well as a hearing thing? If you're doing a /d/ sound in a word when you should be doing a /TH/ sound the American might understand what you're trying to say when you're standing right in front of them, but over the phone there is no way of having the visual help. Phone conversations can be so much more challenging for the person listening. Many telemarketers have this problem. Well, actually, the person listening on the other end has the problem if they can't understand what the telemarketer is trying to sell them. I tell all of my students- by taking accent reduction classes you are helping yourself become more clearly understood. You are also helping the American who is listening to you -or even another international person who speaks English- to understand you completely. When you know you are being clearly understood you feel more confident! I have seen many of my students stand up taller and carry themselves better knowing they have done what they need to do to become even more successful in their career choices with the help of my accent reduction sessions.
THE PHONE TEST:
After I work with my students on reshaping their sounds to sound more American, I introduce the "phone test". One of the last sessions we do together is actually done over the phone instead of meeting at my office. They talk to me the way they would talk to a client or boss and I listen to hear how much of their phone conversation I can understand. If they are running words together or not saying one of their re-shaped sounds correctly I can help them right then and there. It is a very effective way to keep my students on their toes for those important business phone conversations. I have found the phone test to be an incredible tool!
There are many things a business professional must do to be good at his or her job. First, if you are lucky or smart or both, you have gotten a superb education in the field you have chosen. Next, you need to dress the part for internships and job interviews. Then, if you know what you're talking about - you get hired. Some of my grad students, who take sessions with me, begin their accent reduction classes before they've gotten a job. They know that they need to be more clearly understood BEFORE they even step into someone's office for an interview. Each one of us has obstacles to overcome. To be the best teacher I can be I am always striving to find new ways to help my students reshape American sounds and have fun in the process! If I walked into my office wearing ripped jeans and a t-shirt you would probably think I was a slob and maybe not good at my job. You can know everything there is to know about being a financial advisor or publishing text books or being the next great scientist or doctor, but if people can't understand what you're saying, how far can you go in your chosen profession? You might as well be wearing ripped jeans and a t-shirt!
