The Gender Thing

STRONG TALK FOR PROFESSIONAL WOMEN

As society becomes more aware of our subtle gender biases, women can take charge and walk the line between expected passivity and strong talk. Find your line.

CONFIDENCE

The definition of confidence is: "a feeling of self-assurance arising from one's appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities". That is exactly the feeling that you want to have when you walk into that high stakes job interview. The conversation that you are about to have is different from any other conversation because it will determine whether or not you are perceived as a credible professional with the special qualities they’re looking for.

How do we acquire the tools we need in order to present as a confident, competent professional? The answer to that question is to take a look at the behaviors that you have in your professional conversations that are keeping you from feeling confident. We all share them so they’ll be easy to recognize:

We may experience a high degree of anxiety that causes any number of negative physical and/or verbal behaviors. We may speak too rapidly or too much rather than being thoughtful in our responses. Anticipating the outcome because we’re nervous and just want it to be over is a sure path to self-sabotage.

STRONG TALK

Now, let's talk about the language you're using and how it defines you – for better and for worse. Women, in particular, are prone to a number of speech behaviors that convey weakness and lack of confidence. Let’s call this phenomenon "little girl talk". Let's list them for you ladies:

  1. Inserting mindless, habitual words in your conversation like “you know”, “umm”, “totally”, and the big one “like”.  We call this ”dumbing down” your conversational language, something you don’t want to do in a professional situation.

  2. Ending every sentence with an upward vocal glide even though it’s not a question. You cannot achieve credibility with your listener if your statements sound like questions.

  3. Speaking in a hushed voice rather than with energy and conviction.

  4. Avoiding the “I’m sorry” trap. Just never say it unless you’ve actually done something wrong. You don’t have to be apologetic about having your point of view heard or entering a room.

TOOLS

Now we're at the part where you will learn how to acquire the conversation tools you will need to create a positive, confident impression. In this process we serve as your “conversation practice partner”. You will bring to our session whatever professional conversation is looming in your future whether it is a job interview, oral presentation or dinner with the boss to discuss your future prospects in the company. We will set up a scenario and video record a mock professional conversation. You will be astonished at how easy it will be to recognize the language and behaviors that undermine your effectiveness as a professional. Our session will be spent analyzing and practicing how to improve your professional self. This is not a “cook book” approach. Every person brings a different set of conversation “don’ts.”

By the end of our first session together, you will know where you shine and what needs improvement in order for you to present your best professional self. This work is an exciting process of discovery. It’s challenging and you definitely need to bring along your total commitment to change those habits that stand in your way. In the end, however, the confidence you will feel in your professional conversations will help you be the person who gets noticed.
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